


Blackout

by elitemassacre6



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elitemassacre6/pseuds/elitemassacre6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she wakes, Clarke’s heart sinks in her chest. She had promised herself this wouldn’t happen again. That she wouldn’t get so black out drunk that she lost hours or an entire night only to wake up in the bed of someone she didn’t know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blackout

When she wakes, Clarke’s heart sinks in her chest. She had promised herself this wouldn’t happen again. That she wouldn’t get so black out drunk that she lost hours or an entire night only to wake up in the bed of someone she didn’t know.

It was less the casual sex and more the drinking that worried her. She’d watched her aunt Lilian kill herself with alcohol. Watched her spend every family occasion and nearly every evening with a drink or drinks in her hand. Witnessed her health suffer, and then literally watched her die in a hospital bed when even the doctors couldn’t fix her catastrophically failing liver.

She didn’t want that to happen to her. Didn’t want to add to the near wreck her mother had become by dying the same way her sister had. Didn’t want to die at all. Not anymore.

So she buried her face in her hands when she carefully sat up, taking a curious peak at the naked back of the woman she’d spent the night with. Despite how disappointed she was both in herself and about waking up this way again, her eyes hungrily devoured every inch of exposed skin and more importantly, the beautiful tattoo that covered most of it. It was intricate and tribal in design with what looked almost like some kind of runes framing half the center of the piece down the woman’s spine.

Her finger’s itched to touch but she closed them into to loose fists and held back, eyes now sweeping over the gorgeous thick, curly auburn hair that fell over strong, lithe shoulders. One of the brunette’s arms was under her head and there was another equally beautiful tattoo on her toned right bicep.

Truly, by this point, Clarke almost wished she’d met this woman under normal circumstances where she could engage her about her body art without it coming of as strange considering the all too familiar circumstances.  
  
Speaking of, she couldn’t help but wonder how much worse things could get. Would she one day wake up in a hospital bed instead of a that of a one night stand? Might she not wake up at all?

Those were legitimate risks she was taking with her life. Risks she could no longer justify. A shaky sigh was expelled from her chest as she folding up into herself, wrapping her arms tight around her pulled up knees and burying her head between them.

It was time to make a change. To finally just stop. She was done drinking. She couldn’t be another picture frame up on her mom’s mantle. Another picture of those she’d lost. She didn’t want to be a set of tainted memories like her Dad, Wells, and aunt Lil.

Tears leaked from her eyes as she thought about the accident that cost her father and best friend their lives. About waking up to find out that they never would again. About the way her mother had crumbled and had never quite managed to reconstruct herself again.

There was subtle movement of the bed that she had almost forgotten she was sitting on but she ignored it, wiping her eyes and readying herself to vacate the premises. The woman next to her grumbled out her dissatisfaction at what Clarke could only guess was the potentially early morning and sat up, stretching out her arms and legs from what she could tell.

“Oh, baby girl... Hey, Clarke come here.” There were suddenly soft hands reaching for her, gently grabbing her shoulders and pulling her back into the woman’s chest. She let herself be pulled despite herself, taking comfort in the warmth and the smell of Cyprus and lilac.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay, sweetheart.” She didn’t know why everything the woman said made her relax even further, weight sliding off of her back effortlessly, but it did. No matter how little sense it made. No matter how alarming it was.

“I’m sorry.” She managed to get out ten minutes later as she tried to sit up and separate from the warm hold, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as if to protect her heart and her body from view. She finally looked up at her, her breath halting in her chest at the beautiful woman’s alarmingly gorgeous jade eyes.

“You have nothing to apologize for. It’s okay, Clarke. Do you want to talk about it? Whatever it is that has you so upset?” The shrug she can’t help is followed by a soft smile from the other woman before she leans down to press a tender kiss against Clarke’s blonde head, stroking her arms afterward in a move that makes her want to sink back into her hold.

“I don’t remember anything about last night. Not who you are or how we met. Which means I broke the promise I made to myself. That I wouldn’t drink anymore. That I wouldn't end up in the bed of some relative stranger, beautiful and kind or not.”

“I’m Lexa. And there was no drinking last night. It’s a very long story that I have every intention of telling you as soon as I make us both coffee.” Her smile was comforting the way Octavia’s tended to be, but even more, in a different way.

The curve of her full lips and the crinkling of green eyes invited a feeling of safety that had become noticeably rare in her life since Her Dad and Well’s death.

“Coffee sounds...It sounds great. I could drink coffee.” With a grin, Lexa nodded, lifting herself up onto firm biceps from where she’d been leaning back onto her arms.

“Good. I’ll be right back. Do you need anything else? Are you hungry?” She wasn’t actually. Felt full and satisfied. Odd.

“No. Thanks though.”

“Alright. Bathroom through there if you need it. I’ll be ten minutes.” She moved forward to kiss Clarke’s forehead as she stood and the blonde watched her walk out of the room with a warm feeling in her chest. God...who was this woman? This Lexa who it seemed had already wormed her way into Clarke’s heart with little to no resistance.

And what could’ve happened the night before to cause to her to loose however many hours she had? She knew of very little with the exception of head trauma, concussions and such, that could cause such a thing. She used the bathroom as Lexa had suggested, pulling on the pair of shorts, t-shirt, and Georgetown hoodie that was waiting for her on the sink afterwards. She just… she felt better without such a beautiful woman staring at her body. When Lexa came back in, she had on a pair of leggings and a wonder woman tee, her bare feet padding quietly across the wooden floors.

“Alright. One mocha cap with 2 for you. Sure you aren’t hungry, babe?” Clarke nodded to confirm that she wasn’t at all hungry and took her coffee, humming when it was perfect.

“So, you need an update. You and I met what was technically two nights ago at Trikru. You know, the pizza place that also becomes a bar at night?” Clarke nodded, trying unsuccessfully to dredge up memories while sipping on her coffee.

“As far as I could gather from Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln, you and your friends arrived at about ten, and O had plans to spend the night with Lincoln when he got off about an hour later, since she and Raven were leaving for their deployment the next day.” Clarke nodded, she could remember all of that, for sure and the hour or so before Octavia left with Lincoln and Raven left to get rest before her early morning.

“I remember all of that, yeah. O and Linc left, and Raven said she needed rest and left about twenty minutes after Octavia did. I decided to stay. The band on stage was really amazing and I wanted to get a few slices, a soda to drink, and sit down to catch the rest of the show. That’s where everything gets blurry though.” Lexa’s soft grin at her comment about the band on stage was obvious, and she tilted her head in confusion. Were the brunette’s friends in the band?

“That’s about where I figured the cutoff to be, yeah. And I’m glad you liked our songs, Clarke.”

“That was you up there? Your band, I mean? With all of that amazing music and everything? I really do like your songs, actually. It was all really kind of heartbreaking yet hopeful. Heavy and even dark as far as the overall ambience but also really beautiful in a way I feel was intentional. The entire set felt like a musical gallery exhibit titled ‘A study of the broken heart’. It was… yeah, I loved it, Lexa.” And she really, really did. Which had been the only reason she’d been willing to risk staying alone in a bar that late at night knowing she’d have to Uber home or something.

The flashes of entrancing Auburn curls, frighteningly beautiful green eyes, and black war paint from the band’s lead singer had been all she’d been able to see through the rather large crowd, and all of it had grabbed her attention immediately. It made sense now, that woman being Lexa, given her eyes if nothing else.

Speaking of, the grin fell from Lexa’s lips and her gaze turned more towards studying Clarke’s eyes as if trying to see into her through them. After a few somehow non-awkward moments, she bit into her lower lip in a way that looked habitual for a moment before she nodded and let a soft smile take over her features again.

“You seem to get my music even better than some of my band mates and they practice those songs like twice a week. You heard them once, Clarke.” She chuckled quietly, leaning over to set both their mugs down on her bedside table before sitting up again. Her tone was joking, but her eyes told the blonde of how important music was to her. Clarke could understand. She felt the same.

“Music is…it’s really very important to me. And yours is _magnificent_ , Lexa.” The brunette just nodded again, licking her lips and taking in what seemed like a truly deep, fortifying, breath.

“Thank you, Clarke. I… that means the world. Especially coming from _you_. Um, okay so let me try to fill in your blanks. You went to the bar to order a slice and a ginger ale with lime, and from what Nyko said you stayed there, eating another slice or two over the next hour or so, watching us finish our set. Apparently no one really bothered you until right around five or ten minutes after we left the stage and Ryder switched on the music.” Clarke nodded thoughtfully, coming up empty handed when she tried to remember any of this happening.

“But someone did bother me? That’s what happened?” Lexa nodded in agreement, subtly clenching her fists as anger filled her green eyes, though it clearly wasn’t directed towards Clarke.

“Yes. Nyko says the woman sat down just as you finished your second ginger and lime. It looked to him like she hit on you, but you weren’t interested. He says you ordered another slice and went to order another ginger ale when she interrupted you to try and buy you an actual drink. You got a little angry, but you were still polite when you basically asked her to kindly fuck off. At this point, she copped an attitude and grabbed your wrist when you tried to pay Nyko. You obviously snatched your hand away, accidentally slapping her in the process. This is when things went crazy, and before Nyko could hop over the bar to calm things down, she had grabbed your head and slammed it into the bar at least a few times.”

Clarke gasped. What kind of _asshole_ got pissed and violent after forcefully grabbing someone who’d already said no? This did make her head trauma story true though, which explained the memory loss and the likely spotty loss of consciousness she may have had since then. Also the fact that it’d been at least a day and a half and she’d only just now lost her memory.

“Shit…”

“My thoughts exactly. I showed up on the scene and got you out of her clutches and safely into the arms of my cousin, Anya. She’s a doc, so she started checking you out while I handled the woman. That’s about when one of the other patrons made it through the crowd and flashed his badge. He cuffed the woman, Nia, then pulled his phone to call his partner before leaving with her. So that’s what happened. I took you to the hospital with Anya so she could fast track us through the emergency room. I told her to go home and sleep when they set us up in a room. She knew Raven so she called her up and explained everything, how you were mostly fine and I was taking care of you so she and Octavia didn’t need to come. Once she’d set up everything in the files so I could stay with you, she left. That was yesterday. At around five in the morning this morning they discharged you, and you were pretty okay, though they told me to keep you home for the week and that you might lose some bits of your recent memory.”

It was a pretty massive info dump, but a needed one, so Clarke took a few minutes trying to fill in the blanks in order with Lexa’s information. She wasn’t really sure how to feel about all of this, though just having this woman near created a feeling of unfamiliar warmth and content in her chest, and she felt so naturally comfortable with her that she hadn’t even minded being hugged and comforted while naked earlier.

“So you brought me here?” Lexa nodded with a gentle, soft eyed smile.

“Yeah, I brought you here. We ate breakfast at your favorite diner, then had to give our statements and all that at the police station. Afterwards, you didn’t want to go home and wake Raven since you knew we’d already woken her from the hospital and she and O had to be on a plane at 7 this morning.” Clarke nodded thoughtfully, unable to understand how they’d gone from all of that to sleeping together. How close had they become while Lexa stayed by her side after the horrible occurrences at the bar?

“I didn’t want to hurt you Clarke. I didn’t think you’d forget, really, but I knew to expect it may happen. If I had thought that’d actually be the case I wouldn’t have… I would have preferred we wait. I care about you. And I know you promised yourself no more drinking and no one night stands, which since you don’t remember may be all this turns out to be, though I have to be honest and tell you I want more. So much more.” Lexa’s eyes were currently just slightly wide in anticipation of the blonde’s potential rejection, nearly frightening levels of longing reflected back at her.

Clarke nodded, glancing down at her fidgeting hands. She had to look away from those eyes or she’d lose herself. She’d willingly drown in them. Breathing deep, she tried to get a handle on her feelings, eyes flicking back up to a clearly concerned Lexa’s in question as she reached across the twelve or so inches between them to take the brunette’s dominant right hand in her predominant left. Her lips naturally curved up into a shy smile that she knew must have reached her eyes, because Lexa’s certainly did. It was beautiful. _She_  was beautiful.

Looking down at their linked fingers, she wondered at the oddity of her feelings. She felt close to Lexa, she trusted her, and she knew she’d never met a more beautiful woman, physically or otherwise. On top of all of that was how familiar being in Lexa’s calming presence felt, how much deja vu she was experiencing.

She knew it all had to do with them spending the last day together, but for some reason it felt more profound, more important. There were feelings, a truth brewing in her chest that was far to serious for the state of things. In truth, no matter how much had happened between them that she’d forgotten, they’d known each other for a day. None of it made since, but neither had her life for the last five years, so she took it in stride.

“I feel the same. I want more with you too, Lexa. Though I definitely need to play catchup.” She finished with a grin, and her reward was Lexa’s graceful chuckle and nod.

“That’s true, and I’ll help you however I can, Clarke. You can always ask me anything, anytime. Well maybe except right now. Last night was a long night and today has followed in it’s footsteps. Not to mention all the work I’ve put in the last few months. Rest has sort of become a novel concept.” She fell back against the bed with an all too pleasured sigh at the softness of her own sheets. With a sudden, deep look into Clarke’s eyes, she brought their clasped hands to her lips to lay a gentle kiss against Clarke’s knuckles. She lay down right beside her, head elevated a bit by a pillow she dragged over. Once she was comfortable, she laid her now free hand over Lexa’s heart, smiling when Lexa’s laid over her own.

The familiarity of all of this was still so unnerving. It didn’t bother her per say, but I was definitely odd. She’d never been this comfortable with anyone. Never felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be like this. Like being with Lexa was her destiny. Yes, odd. That described the feeling. Strange, but also unexpectedly welcome.

Besides, she liked Lexa. Everything about her seemed honest. Her smile, her laugh, the way she moved, the way she spoke. Not to mention her eyes. God, her eyes.

“When you said you’ve been working a lot did you mean for the band? Writing songs?” Clarke asked quietly, afraid to shatter a moment like this when she got so few of them.

“I have been writing, but not for the band. It’s sort of my job description. I write fiction novels under a pseud. I was pushing to get my newest draft done to go to Indra, my publisher. I had planned to have the next month or so off. Maybe go out west into the hills and rent a cabin. I’ve lived in the city all my life, and as much as I love the energy here in D.C. It’s always felt a little wrong. Any chance I get to be in the Trimani has always felt as if it was fulfilling a part of me I didn’t know existed.” It was clear Lexa wasn’t even aware she’d slipped into Trigedasleng for a moment, the language from what Clarke now knew to be Lexa’s book series.

“I understand. I’ve read your books you know. I always identified with Elyza though Alicia is my favorite character.” She said with a shrug, a smile gracing her lips at the thought of the strong, gentle-hearted, but necessarily ruthless Heda.

“I actually didn’t know any of that. I’m really glad you do like them. It’s important to me, those stories are important to me, you know. Writing the first book is just about all that saved me from myself . It helped me hang on, writing it helped me to survive. I would have crumbled otherwise.” Clarke nodded thoughtfully, her eyes catching Lexa’s gaze.

“I understand. After… after my dad and my best friend Wells died I sort of locked myself up at home and pushed everyone away. I couldn’t deal with the survivors guilt. Every time I looked at someone I loved I couldn’t help but wonder when I’d break them too, you know? When I’d be the cause of the next death in my family. So like I said, I locked myself away. Eventually, months later, Raven came over and she gave me the last birthday gift my dad ever got to plan for me.”  
There, again, was that weight on heart at the thought of what she’d caused. Of who she’d lost. It never went away, no matter how much she pretended to be better. No matter how much she wanted to be.

Lexa squeezed her just the tiniest bit tighter in what felt like a reminder that she was there. That Clarke wasn’t alone and that she understood. Clarke shifted just enough to lay her head on the brunette’s chest, tilting her head up to lay her lips against the underside of Lexa’s sharp jaw. Moments later, long, elegant, fingers were combing through her hair.

“So what was his gift? What did Raven bring you?”

“A guitar. I had always tried to get my hands on it before. As a kid I was pretty obsessed with the Griffin family guitar, and I couldn’t wait until it was time for it to be passed down to me. It was hung up in this display case in his office and he would always laugh when he found my hand prints all over the glass. Some of my best memories with him are of the two of us playing together. Him with his old Gibson and me with my newer one. He had been planning to pass it down to me, finally. For my 21st. It was old and a little beat up from so many years of use so he had it fixed up by an old family friend. It went to the house, which I hadn’t been to in nearly six months but Raven brought it to my place for me. I cried and bugged her and we talked about everything. About how well I wasn’t doing. She saved me. Her and that old 150.” Lexa’s gasped and suddenly sat up, pulling Clarke into her lap and brandishing an adorably excited grin.

“Babe! Clarke you’re telling me you have a vintage Gibson 150? Seriously? I’ve never even seen one in real life!” The blonde just nodded with a chuckle, raking both her free hands through Lexa’s beautiful hair.

“Yeah. It’s a 41. You know, the old sunbursts. I’ll bring it with me next time, Lexa. You can nerd out all you want, promise.” She said with a soft smile, caressing Lexa’s cheek with her thumb. That overwhelming warmth filled her again and she gazed even deeper into deep green eyes, unable to shake that sense of familiarity. Leaning her head down, she lay her lips over the softness of Lexa’s, a groan immediately working it’s way up her throat. It just felt right. Everything about being here with her felt right.

“Clarke…” Lexa moaned, then wrapped her arms around the blondes’ waist, her hands rising up to massage at Clarke’s often pained back. When she slipped her tongue into Lexa’s coffee flavored mouth, those arms tightened around her once again, as if Lexa couldn’t bear the thought of Clarke being even an inch further away. She understood the sentiment.

After a few minutes, when she needed to breath again and was satisfied that she’d fully explored Lexa’s mouth, Clarke pulled away, but not far, resting her head against the brunette who’s eyes were boring into her own.

“Hi.” She whispered, nudging their noses together. No one had ever made her feel like this. Not even Raven back in the day, when they’d been together, back before the mechanic had left her for the army…for her future.

“Hi, beautiful.” Clarke’s knee jerk reaction of biting into her lip and frowning just the tiniest bit at that comment was clearly caught by Lexa, but instead of saying anything, the brunette just shifted up enough to connect their lips again. She kissed her softly, and with tremendous care, though it wasn’t chaste.

Just as Clarke buried her fingers deeper into Auburn hair, intending to somehow thank Lexa for knowing exactly what do, there were a few knocks at the front door. Before either of them could get into the living room, they heard it open, then Anya’s voice.

“Lexa? Hey, seriously how could you two still be asleep?” When they made it into the living room, Anya was going through the fridge, coming back to face them with a bottle of water in hand, her medical bag over her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed, though, as they ran over Clarke’s appearance then focused on the Georgetown sweatshirt she was wearing and she turned a harsh glare on Lexa.

“You fucking slept together?!” She suddenly yelled, stalking close enough to push Lexa backwards a few steps, moving between her and Clarke.

“Anya, wait…” Clarke offered, frowning in worry while Lexa just sighed and took it.

“No, I won’t wait but you should have. She had a fucking concussion, Lexa! A serious one! I never should have let ‘em discharge her. Specially not to you.” She sneered at Lexa as she spoke, and though the brunette looked sort of devastated by the way this was going, she also seemed to understand why Anya was being so harsh. She and Raven were some degree of really close, and it wasn’t that hard to believe that she’d promised to look after Clarke while her best friend was gone.

“You don’t understand – “

“You’re right. I don’t understand how you could take advantage of her like that.”

“Anya, pleni. Stop. What happened between Lexa and I is between us, and We’re fine, okay? Better than. Did you bring your kit for me? I think it may be a good idea for you to check my head. I’ve had some memory loss. Anya’s eyes snapped towards hers immediately in worry and she motioned for Clarke to take a seat on a nearby chair.

“What’d you lose, an hour or so in the hospital? And how’s your headache?”

“My heads mostly fine now, though it was pretty painful this morning when I first woke up. I lost most of last night. I only remember wanting to get some food and a ginger ale after O, Linc, and Raven left. Lexa filled me in.”

“You lost the whole night? Clarke that’s almost eighteen hours. That’s not okay. Why didn’t you call me? Or take her back to the hospital? What is wrong with you?”

“Ahn you told me last night that she may lose some time but that she was basically fine, and I should just be watchful in case her headache went past super hungover level or she suddenly had nosebleeds, in which case I should call you and take you back to the hospital. I’ve been watchful. Besides the blackout she’d been completely okay. Her headache this morning wasn’t bad, and I gave her those meds you gave us last night. Clarke’s okay. I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to her, and I would never take advantage of her.”

She looked devastated, really, her eyes dim and leaking. Clarke knew Anya was the one person she trusted unconditionally. To Lexa, Anya was more than a best friend or confidant. She was family. Her and Lincoln were Lexa’s only family.

Clarke watched as she staggered to her feet and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her and locking it. The two blonde’s heard sobs right after, along what sounded like Lexa sliding along her door to the floor.

Clarke turned to look at an apologetic Anya, a fire in her eyes that very few had seen before as she stalked closer, a part of her intent on hurting her just as much as she’d just hurt Lexa.

“How fucking dare you! You think it’s okay to say the things you did? To make her feel like that?” She pointed her hands over towards Lexa’s bedroom door through which the brunette’s sobbing was still audible.

“Look, I’m sorry what I said hurt Lexa, but you know that I’m right. She had no business having sex with you so soon after leaving the hospital, especially given your concussion and the fact that you were bleeding from the head last night. She knows better.” Clarke shook her head, pushing Anya back and away from her with her right hand, aching to be with Lexa0, to comfort her.

“Why are you putting this all on her? I knew better too, but you’re acting like it isnt my responsibility to make my own decisions. I chose to sleep with Lexa because I care about her, because I want her.”

“She should have never come onto you, and you know it. You have a head injury and she promised she would take care of you. If I had known she would do this I never would’ve-“ Clarke pushed Anya forcefully into the living room wall, scowling at her in a way Anya had never seen.

“Just shut the fuck up! I came on to her, Anya! I wanted Lexa. I still want her. If it is anyone’s fault things went as far as they did then it’s mine. Now get the fuck out. Lexa doesn’t want you here right now and neither do I.”

Anya’s face immediately fell at hearing those specific words, and while she wasn’t sure, Clarke couldn’t help but feel like that was the wrong thing to say. Like her hastily chosen words were breaking Anya’s heart because she had heard it before. Maybe even in relation to Lexa specifically.

“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know. I know better. I know her better than that.” She was crying now, though silently. Her eyes displayed the sort of self-torment that Clarke had only seen before in her own reflection.

“It’s okay, Anya. I’m sorry for raising my voice and I didn’t mean what I said. I like you, you’re a good person and I really do think you’re good to and for Raven. I just… I don’t know, something about Lexa is strange. I mean no that came out wrong. There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s perfect. I just mean being with her is like… it honestly feels like We’re meant to be together. I never believed in it, you know? Soulmates and all of that? But it’s only been a day and I already feel like we’re meant to be, and everything feels so familiar. I’m in a constant state of dejavu and I feel this intense, near manic need to protect her. With my life if I have to. Which is why I came at you like that. Do you understand? That sounded like a lot of excuses but I really am sorry for hurting you.”

And she was, but her attention was still split in half. She couldn’t hear Lexa crying anymore, but she hasn’t moved from the floor either, as far as she could tell. Which meant she was sleeping there. Lexa was exhausted, that much she knew. But Clarke wanted to get her comfortable, all tucked in her bed before she slept.

“It’s okay, Clarke. I really should go, anyway. I have the midnight shift tonight, and I’d actually like to get some sleep. Will you tell her that I’m sorry? That I didn’t mean any of it and I love her?” Anya was frowning, letting her teeth tear at her bottom lip as she eyed Lexa’s bedroom door with a defeated stare, her sometimes harsh features softening into something Clarke had only ever seen aimed at Raven.

Anya started towards the door, Clarke following behind her silently, frowns on both their faces.

“Course I will, Anya. I hope you have a good shift. Be safe, please.” The blonde turned back to look at her at that, stepping out into the brightly lit hall.

“What do you mean, be safe? I work in the pediatrics ward, Clarke. There’s no danger.” Clarke just shrugged with a wry frown, nodding her head to reaffirm her request.

“It’s something I started saying first to my mom, then Raven and eventually Octavia and Lincoln when they leave. After… Everything, I guess I just needed some small way to ask everyone I care about to please not leave me too. That includes you too, now. So just, yeah. Be safe, Anya.” The doctor nodded, the corner of her lips curling up just enough to constitute a smile, and she reached her hand out for a handshake, though Clarke clearly surprised her when she reached past her hand to grip her forearm without any forethought. Anya grinned, but Clarke looked down at their finally separating limbs, confusion and a massive sense of deja-vu falling over her once again.

“You’ve read her books. And let me guess, Alicia is your favorite character? You know she based the Heda off of herself, right?” Clarke shook her head, clearing it of cobwebs finally, so she could talk.

“Um, yeah. I’ve read them all. And Licia is my favorite, you’re right.”

“Alright, you dork. I’m out.” Anya was gone seconds later, and Clarke shut the door as she walked back inside, locking it behind her. When she pulled open the bedroom door, she crouched down, sweeping Lexa up into her arms with a quiet grunt.

When she set her down in the bed, leaning over her to lay a gentle kiss against Lexa’s forehead, the brunette stirred, so Clarke swept into the bed quickly, pulling the slowly waking woman into her arms.

“Klark, ste hir…Please don’t go back, it’s not safe, hodnes. Beja, Klark. Ai hod yu in.” Lexa mumbled clearly enough to be heard, brows furrowed over her closed eyes, face contorted in an expression of pure despair.

“Ai hir , Leksa. Ai kamp raun.” A sob racked the sleeping woman’s chest and she tugged Clarke impossibly closer, blinking her eyes open and nodding. She still didn’t seem cognizant, though.

“Klark…” She whimpered quietly, reaching a hand up to cup the blonde’s cheek.

“I’m right here, meizen. We’re alright. We’re together. Just me and you, okay?” Slowly, Lexa seemed to fully wake up, losing that confused and distant look in her eyes but remaining just as pained.

“Together…” The brunette whispered quietly, falling as far into Clarke’s arms as was possible.

“Sha, niron. Ogeda.” Lexa bit her lip and nodded, pushing herself far enough down the bed to tuck under Clarke’s chin, laying a cautious hand over the blonde’s avidly beating heart as she fell back to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, I'm not sure I'm anywhere near happy with this. The title was meant to be tentative, something I planned on changing, and I can't help but feel this first chapter is just not polished enough. But, alas, I:m just super tired of looking at it without making any real progress, so here we are.


End file.
